The Once Ways

Fierce Love and Justices Blind Spot

2010-10-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

It takes so much courage to step to love. Coming toe to toe with the fierceness of Grace, in this mirror maze we understand to be the world, is fucking scary...eeeeek!!!... The blinding light of an open heart has the power to stop the mind, stop pretense, and drop the mask. Every time I fall in love, it is love itself that I fall in tune with. It is my joy that fuels the breaking of the heart. Sorrow can break the heart... but Joy can break it and burn it simultaneously, it is a more expedient ingredient towards realization. It burns... but the fire is alchemical... it burns but it brightens....it burns but it purifies...I am being consumed by my own love, I feel like ouroboros in a female body. It is fierce, its so fierce that it finds its strength in fragility and exposure... in honesty and vulnerability, just like a child, so forgiving but also so very outspoken... Authenticity fortifies and fuels the heart. In witnessing its growth I am moved to more joy, more breaking, more burning.... an even greater invitation into the mystery of my own self.

Justice is Blind and so is Love. The question is: how will I respond to what arises in my field? I've got scales in my left hand, a blindfold with the word INNOCENT written in my own blood tied around my head, and a bitten apple (MacBook Pro :) ) in my right hand... a feather lays tenderly on one side of the scale... and my beating heart in the other... I am my own judge... I am simply, me.

Balance is Beauty. And Beauty is a value that the natural Earth exults. Not only is Beauty a valid core frequency on the Earth it is also supremely functional. So it is that the pollen the bee finds through following its blissful love of the flowers creates sweet honey for the comb... we are not separate from this type of outrageous abundance.

Each of us in our natural state, as human, are broadcasting this exquisite beauty... and as long as we continue to direct our attention to our internal atmosphere, tell the truth, and feel what is... this beauty can grow... because thats what it does best... that is what the universe does... naturally... it grows, it heals, it unifies... creation needs no correction... ever.

My beating heart is as light as a feather....

And so is yours...

May Justice become comfortable with her blind spots and may Love burn with even more Fervor and Fierceness than just a moment ago....

Bless Us All... As One.

Transcending Paired Spins...

2010-09-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Every time I fall into Polarity Thinking... Good/Bad, Light/Dark, On/Off, Have/Have Nots....I use my awareness as leverage and lift my psyche out of its own seesaw... 98% of all my thoughts are conditioned thinking... Today I am awed and floored by my own gratitude toward transformational transcendence. Lets here it for the willing and imaginative mind....

All creativity/imagination does is give me a respite from this conditioned worn out traditional~hamster~on~a~wheel~regurgitated~look~like~your~progressing type of processing.

Imagination is the way through whatever absurd and obscene realities we've created... Imagination (not escapism) is the sliver of light in the blank and bleak walls of Plato's cave.

Be ye as little children, flights of fantasy, color, texture, aligned information...beauty, value, connection, love, community... Be a gardener of this fertile internal landscape... what do I want to plant here? What is worthy of a divine incubation process?

What is already here? Simply, what is already present? What exists outside of paired spins?

The True Nature of the Evolutionary Self. Always Complete yet Always Heading Towards the Light Of Discovery...

Who is here? There is no one and there is ONLY ONE... there is NO THING and yet there is SOMETHING experiencing who and what can not be defined...

The best definition would be..... A STELLAR JOY RIDE THAT IS FREELY GIVEN!

Rockets of Gratitude Rise Up within me... shooting forth on a boomerang track line... and snap me right back into my own Uprising and Unified Swelling Heart.

Evolution Is A Choice... It Is Not Mandatory...

2010-04-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

It is an act of Will to surrender will. Here we find the loop-dee loop...catch 22...tail eating head...consuming tail... beauty of the Spiralling course humanity is on. It is an act of Will to surrender will.

I swear that fish that leaped out of the water onto land... WAS not understood by the other fish in the sea... Imagine... that fish had to trust its FORM... its body was what led the Way... all beliefs had to be abandoned, the mind? HA... all need for approval by all the other fish... exhumed and moved aside by a blessed dying into what was for the promise of what is to come... FAITH and Then SOME...

When I choose to drop and join, and seamlessly collide with that which is Divine The Unknown... this is a choice.

I chose my parents... I remember this... This means no blaming, no victim, no sad story...

The amount of responsibility that this erupts is almost to much to handle. Since every religion, institution, and now "spiritual circle"... created in the world is to keep us away from taking this type of responsibility and holding it with tender kindness in hands already realized to be Divine.

From this neutral space... True Creation can come...

When I ask for help from the Universe, this is an act of Will. This is an act on the individuated sense of self to Seek Solace and Assistance From The Self... united with Source.

We are backtracking to a place we never left...

We Are Held in the Intelligence of What Is... and can never be abandoned... however... to say that this world is not in need of healing, or help... is a denial of the most obvious of truths... yes, relative as they may be... they are existing through the Divine for a reason...

To be brought Home... Unified... Loved... Whole... Complete...

And through an AUTHENTIC BROADCAST of what is aligned and embodied through the totality of BEing through and through... what passes on this plane as "realized" conceptualized, verbiage is so outdated I can hardly breath... perhaps this is how the fish felt... the oxygen through the water no longer a suitable source of nourishment... that it had to take a cellular leap creating congruence with its current consciousness...

I NEED SOME SPACE AND SOME AIR TIME!!!!

Emotions as Internal Revolution...

2010-01-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

Last night I cried so hard, I swear... I triggered and turned on a new experimental psychic nerve that hooks my heart up to the guts of humanity. I felt some new circuit grow and light up like a fire fly in the depths of my darkness. I cried so hard I felt like I challenged the banshees of the back waters of Louisiana to have a sound off in my bundled brain. This sorrow of the sullen was, of course, spawned by the various "intense" stories that are strewn around the planet these days, and of course the intensity of my own personal "loss" labeled... Daddy's Death.

I trusted the feeling tones and asked for protection as I made my way down into the depths of my own grief and despair... I found that these tendrils were here, present, all along, independent of the "stories" that seemed to navigate me to them. That the external stories were simply triggers to get me to FEEL the currents of what lays beneath this diaphragm day in and day out. Which is intense e-motion, energy in motion, and then after that is expressed... a whole lot of potent, nothingness...

I swear my jaw locked I cried so hard last night.

I felt all the shadows that so many light workers are so hell bent on denying. This is truly what Haiti is showing us. That we would be so willing to project the darkness of our own fragmented shadow onto the world instead of willingly working to integrate it, within our own psyche...

The moment after my jaw locked, and out sprawled a howl in symetrical proportion to the beasts that every breath of separation has ever spawned... I felt the lightest, sweetest, most precious connection to the Earth, Humanity, and Life... I have ever felt. I am a tracker of these tendrils, I am a life circuit junkie. I let out a laugh that had the innocence of the little girl within me. Before the traumas, before the traps, the death wishes, the dregs of duty, the obligations of society, the need to rail against the machine, for identity.

Even my skin felt softer.

There is no revolution that is needed from the outside. This is purely an internal process. Self revolution is the only option available for us as humanity as a whole... Nobody can breath for me. Nobody can feel for me. Nobody can offer solace from the outside in... This type of revolution must come from the inside out. The terrain of the Emotional realm is sometimes terrifying and I can see that most of the world was created to distract going within and developing the tools to safely navigate these mysterious emotions.

"Consume, don't feel" is the mantra of the world.

"Conceptualize, don't feel" is the mantra of the mind.

"Conform, don't feel" is the mantra of culture.

In the spirit of culture jamming... I intend to feel.

MU

2009-11-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

Unrestrained Bliss Encounters a Raucous Ride in The Lost (yet Luscious) Land Of MU..... Its all for U!!!

Post Bloom...

2009-11-10T06:09:00.000-08:00

Now and here, present, the unique bloom that comes from all the ranting and resisting and rebelling... Its here in the heart as a vibration, a particular pitch, a sirens call that sends a silent and resilient sonar.

I can hear the call again, clearly, and see where blame has chiseled a case, stormed judgment and self loathing, appointed evidence and effort as witnesses, and condemned creation to the podium...

From this realization, from the expression of anger, through consciously and compassionately seeing it while it moves through me... there is an energetic bloom that is born, and for this I am grateful.

This bloom is a color, I've not been exposed to, its a texture that a jelly fish would think slippery, soft, and vital... its a vibrational entity all of it own....and it asks me to go slower, stop more, be silent, and slip off alone away from the raucous human party and paint a picture about Mu and the way the trees (in that land) have pin feathers and literally (for literal purposes) bleed ultra-violet streams of continual consciousness....

Tormented Torrents

2009-11-08T10:43:00.001-08:00

I am sick of the saccharin love. So sick of the sickness. Sick of grammar and war. These limits, the livid local...the barbed wire leaves. So sick of the hatred, the genetic manipulators, the time keepers proclaim.....Procreation? In hell? Fuck it. So sick of having to make some sort of sense, a semblance of sanity in such this asylum, sold as an asset.

Sick of the seeking and the preaching...of trying to contain the mystical moon in a shallow and ego-ick sloppy saloon.

Sick of lying to the sly and conscious slope of my own spine.

This rage will transmute its fury into the passion that creates and combusts worlds. I am not confused about the vibrational source and power of one tiny tendril of a thought. And, I won't lie about the oppression and I will not pretend that Misogyny is not our leading mascot.

Lemuria is rising. These dusty wings have sipped the storm of infinity.

The codes that flipped the hour glass so long ago are rising, to be re configured into this stream of consciousness I am ... She is running on empty and has 3,021 wounds in her heart that need self healing... Grace wants absolute respect, for these limbs have been torn, tattered and terrorized by my own solution of separation.

BUST!!!

The torture I may create for myself, is a conscious consequence. I need self-respect and honor for the shadow splice and allowance for the dark corridors that will open to the mind bending meadow of Dignity...

I'll learn (for this I am sure) and love will always have her way with me.

She will always triumph and the mind (this mirror maze) will forever burn in the fire of her True Blood... creating T-Cells as she goes, within, to the marrow of her making.

It is my turn, and I walk softly on the heels of my own shadow, knowing my name, blazing force, single, violet flame...

I am writing the story, and holding the heart of glory as she gushes with Gods SPEED.

Its tricky to Tenderize Me....

Allah

2009-11-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

You could

have

lingered longer

@ the spot

that had no

white wash

wisdom

But instead

you

ran with red

to secure

your

way to god...

Untitled Thread

2009-10-27T23:57:00.000-07:00

EVEN with an intention of bringing the mirror mess back into the lucid and luminous light, I still yearned for this spillage to be perfect (hence, no posts)...However, since the sudden passing of my beloved biological father (this life time)...on the 1st of this month, I've no time for even the thought of putrefied perfect, rather this is: a rubber meets the road kind of catharsis.

Catalytic catharsis.

Contagious catharsis.

All I can hear is: One. Thread. At. A. Time. Love.

And.... Why. Don't. You. Post. More. Posts. Love.

Because, Dear Cacophony... and Central Splicing Station...

I. Still. Can't. Tell. The. Difference. From. Perceptual. Lies... Cultural. Bias... Patriarchal Propaganda... And The. Supposed. Freedom. Of. Expression.

Easy there tiger...

2009-09-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

This blog is about documenting the process of bringing the beautiful mess back into the light. This is about untangling the thoughts that have oppressed me/the feminine for millennium. This is an ignition of sorts. A digital exposure...Exposing myself to cyber space, a metaphor for the ethers.

I am not appalled nor enthralled about the way Reality is...it changes and shifts depending upon the level of consciousness of the observer...

On beautiful days when I am loving myself seamlessly, I can get lost in something sparkly (tracking the shine) while time is exposed as the imposture it is, on those loving days if I breathe just right, and move like a cobra (teetering) I can coax open a rabbit hole in the atmosphere (I haven't followed them yet, I get too nervous).

On hard days when the resistance is strong and all that longs to live within me has its center stage, I feel like I am in a neurological straight jacket, and the mind rages like Medusa's slithering snakes...because it blames the oppression "on something out there"...instead of seeing it as a contrasting tool, to create a different reality.

To create through inspiration, rather than by default.

Bliss; Unrestrained

2009-06-24T09:14:00.000-07:00

There is no longer any new information circulating on the Earth Plane. It is now about decisive action synthesized with an unwaivering certainty that Source will follow through and support movement derived from True and Authentic Bliss broadcasted from the clear and focused inspired ignition of the human heart. This is the honor of humanity, this being the truth of a human being...

We are beginning to be balanced between Heaven and Earth... This is the Axis point that the vehicle of the body must bridge for our upcoming ascension. The body must be brought into alignment for this activation to occur. Following our bliss is part of the preparation process...

Unrestrained Bliss...

Creating new avenues for Reality to show up is a job that is not only necessary, it is a privledge and an honor to be employed in this way...

I have become a free agent for the Divine...

Spirit must be allowed to come into form in more Earthly Ways.

Wherever my attention is, is where and how I am being used...

2009-06-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

Life Centered Priciples Make a Come Back from Egoic Exile....